funnies

= **LAUGH, LEARN AND LIVE** = =**an enjoyable life** = = =


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Here are a few jokes for you

Turkey for Thanksgiving **

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. "Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one." "Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. That one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man. "Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

1. What is Thanksgiving? 2. Where and when is it celebrated? 3. What can we learn about the celebration? 3. How would you characterize both men in the joke? 4. Did you learn any new words?

Rate this joke 1 to 5 (poor to very good)

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and next Christmas.   "Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies..."
 * eating habits

Happy Mother's Day** Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. "It's a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

**Homework**

A young boy stopped by the corner grocery store and read his list to the clerk: "10 pounds of sugar at $1.25 a pound; 4 pounds of coffee at $1.50 a pound; 2 pounds of butter at $1.10 a pound and 2 bars of soap at 83 cents each. How much does that come to?" "Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents," replied the clerk "If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" "Seven dollars and sixty-four cents." "Thanks! That's my arithmetic homework for tomorrow."